FOOMP
by Gentle Smile
Summary: Wheee. New story. Chapter 1 - Chinatown break-in, Johnny and his faithful camel, the great Kermit v George debate, and, Axl. Bllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Hello. ................. This is a Guilty Gear fic thing. ................. It's supposed to be funny. ................ Yeah, I'll start.  
  
Disclaimer: RuneAyame owns sod all. Well, she owns this computer. And a yoghurt pot. But not Guilty Gear. Some Japanese bloke whose name begins with a 'D' does.  
  
Please, do not enquire about the title. I typed the word and called it 'a title'. But feel free to come up with suggestions as to its meaning.  
  
****************************wooooo*******staaaaars************************  
  
FOOMP  
  
/Chinatown/  
  
'Ky-Kiske to the rescuuuueeeeeee!' Ky shouted his ridiculously infantile police-guy-cry.  
  
Jam Kuradoberi's restaurant had been BROKEN INTO. (terrible, isn't it?) And as a policeman conveniently wandering nearby waiting for his entrance into the story, Ky considered it his patriotic duty to investigate.  
  
I say patriotic, but he's in China. But the guy collects teacups, so I suspect any other abnormalities in his personality go relatively unnoticed.  
  
Jam: Oh! Officer, thank goodness you....OH MY GOD!  
  
Ky: THOU SHALT NOT MISUSE GOD'S NAME! 'TIS A COMMANDMENT!  
  
Jam: You're uniform is on fire!  
  
Ky: Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans! *does a hornpipe jig whilst attempting to extinguish flames.*  
  
Ky: *now flameless* Ahem. Tell me what happened miss.  
  
Jam: @_@  
  
Ky:......?  
  
Jam: @_@ h-h-h-hornpipe jig.........  
  
Ky: Fine! I shall interrogate other citizens! You!  
  
Axl: Heeey! Police guy duuuuuuuuuuuudeee! *hic* how'th it HANGIN'?!  
  
Ky: Did you, at any point in your drunken state, see anyone break into yonder restaurant?  
  
Axl: *looks behind him*  
  
Ky: Look where my finger is pointing sir.  
  
Axl: Wha? *hic* Finger? *looks at feet*  
  
Ky: Oh, forget it. Did you SEE anyone?  
  
Axl: *taps nose* Oh, I dunno, *hic* it'll cotht ya *hic* money an' stuff *hic* 'cos I saw SOMEone, but *hic* sometimes I see twelve people 'stead o' one *hic* like now, y'know.  
  
Ky: I suppose I can pay you.........  
  
Axl: *throws arm round Ky and starts shouting to public* You see this guy here? *hic* He...He raised me from a KID *hic* he did, he's always been there fer me *hic* I love you man *hic*.  
  
Ky: I take pity on you. Here, play with this shopping trolley.  
  
Axl: Rock and ROOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jam: Excuse me, mister police officer.  
  
Ky: Call me 'the Supreme Master of Law and Order' and I'll listen to you.  
  
Jam:.....no  
  
Ky: Awww...pleeeeeezze?  
  
Jam:.....no  
  
Ky: *sighs* okay. Now, I have reason to believe the criminal is over six foot with long brown hair and a fire sword. I'll go arrest him! He is SO going down.  
  
Jam:.......... You know what? I'll help look for the criminal, because you clearly suck at your job.  
  
Axl: *whizzes past on trolley* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
************************************************************* /Mayship/  
  
Johnny: Woohoo! I opened a tin of tomatoes!  
  
April: We're all proud of you, Johnny.  
  
Johnny: Now to tackle the navigation on this ship! I've been putting that off for years.  
  
April: Eh? We've been flying blind! For YEARS?!  
  
Johnny: Yup.  
  
April: So...when you said that that 'jungle' we were in was a realistic theme park......it was really?  
  
Johnny: Fuck knows.  
  
May: Johnny! Land hoooooo! Shall we land?  
  
Johnny: Sure!  
  
*crew disembark*  
  
May:..........It's a desert.  
  
Dizzy: Where are we?  
  
Johnny: Well, ah, girls, this is another of those realistic terrain theme parks.......  
  
April: -_-  
  
Johnny: *bursts into tears* I don't know where we are! I can't work out the navigator! I am a lousy captain! I don't deserve to live.  
  
*ship flies off*  
  
Johnny: H-Hey! HEEY! You left me! I AM NOT ON THE SHIP! HEEEEEY! AAARRRGGGHHH!  
  
*nearby camel shakes head sympathetically*  
  
Johnny: Well, it's just me and you now, faithful camel.  
  
Faithful Camel: *nods*  
  
Johnny: C'mon! Let's go find one of those fake oasis things.  
  
Axl: *whizzes past on trolley* WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
/Menopause meeting/  
  
Zappa: *crying* And then this spirit took over my body!  
  
Women: Mr Zappa sir? This is a Menopause meeting!  
  
Zappa: Wha? What am I doing here? S-Ko you tart.  
  
S-Ko: *smug grin*  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
/Happy meadow/  
  
Chipp: Who would win in a fight? Kermit or George Bush?  
  
Testament: *shrugs*  
  
Axl:*whizzes by on trolley* I'M FUCKIN' TRIIIPPPPPPIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
End of chapter one!  
  
So! Did you LIKE IT? Will Ky and Jam catch the culprit? Will Johnny and his faithful camel escape the desert? What's going on in the Mayship? Will Zappa get a plot improvement? Why are Chipp and Testament together? What IS Axl doing?  
  
Find out in Chapter Twoooo-hooooo.  
  
RuneAyame  
  
'Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. 


End file.
